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Another post reminded me of this story.
My GF drives a 2000 Neon (You'll see later why I put this in).
About a month or two ago we were out cruising in MYSTANG with the windows down and a car pulls up next to me and Revs up that lil lawn mower engine of his. I look over and sure enough some one had made a Rice Rocket out of a Neon. I don't even know what to call it a domestic "Tuner"?

Any ways to the funny part, Just as I looked over my GF starts laughing her cute hinney off. Right next to the guy! Now keep in mind my GF thinks my car is too loud, too fast... ya ya you get the point. She is cracking up at the guy because he wants to race me in MYSTANG with a car like hers. She is squirming in her seat and trying to talk between the laughs. She laughs "I don't care what he put in that thing it is still a car like mine." I was cracking up because my GF is so not into my car and she was crying cuz she was laughing so hard.
Well the "Neon Racer" was not at all intimidated by my GF's laughing and still wanted a go at it. So I reved up once or twice and the light turned green. I let him take off first and gave him his 15 hundredths of a second of fame and I then spanked him like I was his dad.

Well at the next light he pulled up and wouldn't even make eye contact with either my GF or me poor lil guy maybe he needed to adjust the Road Runner sized wing for some more down force and traction. Or maybe the clock sized tach and airplane headlight sized shift light were off.

Sorry so long but I miss my car and I was just reminiscing.
 

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I don't even know what to call it
POS?

He probably just needed more stickers. I hear that they make the car go much faster.
 

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I'll bet if he had a 'NAWS' sticker he would have kicked your butt! Or maybe a tri-wing front AND back would have done it! ::
 

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i hate the way those things sound.. my friend got an 03 civic Si, and he got a fart can. and i dubbed it the "KAZOO" bc thats what it sounds like to all of us . and everytime we see a kid on a go ped, we always call him and ask if hes on his way. hes always wanting to race me bc of his ricer mentality , but the thing is SO slow, my friends 5 speed saturn keeps up with it.
 

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Actually statistics show that sticker horsepower is as follows:

. Engine parts stickers= 5hp
. Body kit companiy stickers= 5hp
. any Japanese writing= 10hp
. Dragon decals= 10hp (there so intimidating ahhhhh run away)
. Type R stickers (on any make)= 15hp
. and the biggie NOS stickers= a whopping 20hp

Bonus Horsepower

small wing= 5hp
medium= 10hp
Huge wing= 15hp
Bonus 3 hp for unpainted aluminium.

That should be a good guide for "performance" upgrades, so plan your next project accordingly. ::
 
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