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Things you will never hear a Red Neck say:

I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

Duct tape won't fix that.

Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.

I thought Graceland was tacky.

We don't keep firearms in this house.

Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

You can't feed that to the dog.

I've got it all on a floppy disk.

No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.

Wrasslin's fake.

We're vegetarians.

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

Do you think my hair is too big?

I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

Who's Richard Petty?

Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

Deer heads detract from the decor.

Trim the fat off that steak.

Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

The tires on that truck are too big.

I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

Unsweetened tea tastes better.

I sure do like that Hillary Clinton!

My fiancée, Betty Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

Checkmate.

She's too old to be wearing a bikini.

Hey, here's an episode of Hee Haw that we haven't seen.

I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

Elvis who?



I must be part ******* .../forums/images/icons/wink.gif
 
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How about -

Would you mind passing the Grey Poupon please.

Junior - don't wipe your face with you shirt sleave, it's not proper etiquette..
 
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