Dave,
20 years of living single before marrying gave me a couple of insights...
I spent my money, built my cars, did my racing before getting married; now I happily focus my attention on my marriage and the cars, for the most part, just sit.
In those 20 years I learned to take a balanced view of things; learned to see things from another's perspective. I also learned not to be a doormat.
I hope you'll remember that, if your wife loves you, she'll repsect you for being true to your goals and ambitions in life, and won't begrudge you them. I hope you feel the same way about her. Don't be afraid of standing up for yourself, if you believe your position to be reasonable. Often, new ideas and approaches can come from these conflicts, if the participants are mature in their approach.
If the family isn't getting food on the table because of car parts, I wholeheartedly agree with her....If you all live comfortably and this remains a thorn in her side, I would be more concerned. A possible solution would be for you to take on some side work, if money is the issue, and denote that money for the car. My wife does that for scrapbooking, which can easily be as expensive as car building.
I don't know your age, but can say with certainty that, if had married in my 20's, I would have likely ended up a basket case and likely divorced....I'm just lucky I stayed single and figured myself out before involving someone else full time.
Best of luck to you on all fronts!
