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For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity.
  1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
  2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
  3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
  5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls
    live.
  6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section
    ?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
  7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it consi
    dered a hostage situation?
  10. Is there another word for synonym?
  11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
  12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
  13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
  14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
  15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean th
    em?
  16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
  17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
  18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain sile
    nt?
  19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
    (Somebody please explain THIS ONE to me. I know there's a logical explanation, b
    ut it escapes me)
  20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
  21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
  22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
  23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? (needed to think about that one)
  24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
  25. How is it possible to have a civil war? @#&%$!!!# ?
  26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
  27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
  28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
  29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
  30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
  31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
  32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
 

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(In your best Kyle voice from South Park) Dude why is the cavity only big enough to hold a donut? What are you suppose to do with the flat tire?
 

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Just some guy
67 coupe, 69 Sportsroof, 86 hatchback
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20,848 Posts
I could answer 90% of those but I'd just come off as a smartass. They are easily negated with a bit a logic.
Can't resist two though.
#8. Being deaf doesn't mean the person can't speak (or curse) just like anyone else.
The drive-up teller is just cheapness. You'll notice that drive-up machines and walk up machines made by the same company are pretty much identical. Rather than make two kinds, they just make them all "handicapped accessible".
Not saying I didn't enjoy reading them Kent ::
 

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Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
(Somebody please explain THIS ONE to me. I know there's a logical explanation, but it escapes me)
Obviously, you've never driven up here in Redding. :D I swear these are some of the worst drivers I've ever seen. We have the deaf, the dumb, and the blind for drivers...and some fit more than one category!! ::
 

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Just some guy
67 coupe, 69 Sportsroof, 86 hatchback
Joined
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20,848 Posts
Ok, I like your explanation better. And it's not just Redding! :D
I admit the logical explanation isn't funny and has little entertainment value.
(Did you ever start to post and change your mind? Oh, yeah we did that yesterday)
 

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412 Posts
# Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?(Somebody please explain THIS ONE to me. I know there's a logical explanation, but it escapes me)
It's for when your driving your re-imported Left hand drive car through the Drive through and your passenger is blind. These guy's think of everything!

Have a guy in my club who has a Left-hand drive 68. He loves to come to our show, meeting up with a friend on the highway and have a conversation between the cars, the drivers are only about 3-4 feet apart. Said he gets the wierdest stares from people.

SprintCC
 
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