For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity.
- Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
- One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
- The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls
- I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,"Where's the self-help section
?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
- What if there were no hypothetical questions?
- If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it consi
dered a hostage situation?
- Is there another word for synonym?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
- What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
- If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
- Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
- Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean th
- If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
- Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
- If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain sile
- Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
(Somebody please explain THIS ONE to me. I know there's a logical explanation, b
ut it escapes me)
- How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
- What was the best thing before sliced bread?
- One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
- Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? (needed to think about that one)
- Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
- How is it possible to have a civil war? @#&%$!!!# ?
- If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
- If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
- If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
- Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
- Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
- Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
- Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?