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Well I quess you've got the idea on what I'm thinking. Living in NJ, about 20 miles north of NYC, it's just getting so hectic, stresfull and expensive. I think my wife and I are starting to get burned out, we're in our mid 40's. The prospect of selling our house, sometimes is tempting.

If we sold our house, as modest as it is, we'd make a killing. The houses that are being built by us are in the 1 mil mark or close enough to it. No we wouldn't get anywhere that much (sigh, long sigh ).

The though of moving to a rural area is strong at times. I'm not asking if we should but rather, has anyone been in this spot and have done something like this?

When I had my own business, electrical contractor, I was working in someones home. There was this unassuming guy putting up wall paper in the kitchen, he had his portable 4 X 8 folding table that he was working off of and his old stationwagon that he drove. We got to talking, he had been a big stock broker in NYC and got tired of it. He threw in the towel and quit, started his own little business hanging wall paper. He told me, obivously, he wasn't making anywhere near the same money, but he was a lot happier.

No I'm not going to do anything rash, I just wondering if it's contempt for the familiar. I'm sure I'm not alone. BTW, NJ has the same population density as India! No BS.
 

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My major change was retiring at 46. Again like you we can sell the house and commercial shop we own and build a nice house around Truman Lake in central Missouri. The retirement thing was scary though as I didn't know what to expect but I am enjoying it now. BTW, if you were to sell your house for around the figure you are seeing in your area that money would go a long way out here in the midwest. Life is too short to be living it unhappy...
 

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If you are not happy with what you are doing, then quit! If you do not like where you live, then move. If you are not happy with yourself, change!

I did all three, I now live near Dallas, I am no longer working construction, and I married the sexiest woman alive, and we now have 4 kids! LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT!

Be happy, your only here just this one time.

Recon101
 

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Tom,
Sorta, but in effect the same. I began my computer career in the military and after four years went to work for Higher Eduation. Went from state colleges until I finally got to my goal, Notre Dame. This to me was the pinnacle place to work. Hard work, long hours, medium money. Then I decided to give the big buck private sector a try and went to work for an Israeli company with US HQ in Chicago. I'd drive up to Chicago on Monday and come back Thursday night. Still lived in rural Indiana but was doing the 6 figure job in the city. I gave it a year and a half before deciding that 4 14 hour days and separation from family isn't worth the time.
So, I found a small company nearby and went to work for less than half my salary in the city and 8 hour days. I will never go back. Less stress, less pay, less work for someone else. Most importantly, more time for what really matters in life, my family.
The fiscal curving was a pain for a bit but not too bad. We lived well within our means and banked the majority. For now, with the Mrs. employed at ND (faculty) we don't have to worry about paying for college, it's a perk.
Do I like not working in the cutting edge IT arena? Yes. Do I miss it? Yes /forums/images/icons/smile.gif The amount of time I now have is worth it though and the lack of stress is a big plus.
Just my life in a nutshell,
D
 

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I got married and move to the SF bay area.

Lived there and decided it was not the right life style.
Dropped everything and moved to Central PA to work on Master's at PSU.

Now live in the country in MD making 3 times the CA salary working virtal.

Life style changes can go either way, and are always scary, but life is too short to live it in fear of change.
 

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Life is just to important to take seriously, the only serious things in life are when bad things happen. Find the child in yourselves, determine what would make those children the happiest, believe in yourselves, make a plan (the steps necessary and reasonable timeing), execute the plan, and enjoy the successful rest of your lives together.

Remember: Make small decisions with your heads. Make large decisions with your hearts. The most important things you possess is each others hearts. Go make yourselves happy.
 

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If you're ready to discuss the topic with us, you already know the answer. Sounds to me like you're ready to make a change - go for it! As others have said, life is too short!

I don't have a frame of reference for you, though. I still love the woman I married, love the job, enjoy the family, etc...

Edited Addition:

I got to thinking of your topic title - radical life style changes - when I thought about my life. We had quite the whirlwind of concurrent BIG THINGS happening more than a few years back: 3rd child, house rebuild with move, SWMBO job change, and my job was threatened. We survived that easy, because SWMBO and I believed in each other.

You decide what's best for the two of you, then act on it and drag the kids along for the ride; they'll adapt.
 

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Tom,

I've kinda been doing it for the last 1 1/2 years. In my case with Jordano on the way, I'll be going back to doing what I was doing for the next 5-6 years, but fifty is it. Too many of my friends had strokes in their early forties. I found out I have one or two things I still want to get done (not having done it for the past year) and I now have the strenght to do it. A friend of mime is a construction mgr in NYC. His daughter graduates HS this year and then he's off to Flagstaff. I'll probably head to the coastal area in Maryland/Virginnia.

Good Luck

Bob.
 

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Detroit may not be Jersey or NYC but I only work here and live 2 3/4 hours away in a rural village in Canada. This way my family has a good standard of living since my house in Canada is a mansion (figuratively) compared to a same value house in Detroit. I have my dream job that is simply not available back home. I can afford to build my garamajhal. The downside, of course, is being away from my family for 4 nights a week. I am the same age as you and my childred are 16 and 18. I could not have done this a few years ago but now I can but I sure hope to retire early :)
 

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20 years ago I moved from Los Angeles to rural Missouri. Man what a change! You lose certain things, and gain other things. It is easy to guess what many of those are. Are you and your wife ready to turn everything down a notch, including the spending of money? You have a skill that will transfer easily. You did not say whether you still have your own business. If you are working for someone, the move should be far less trouble and if do not like it, you can move back to NJ and work for someone else.
 

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I started my business may 1st,1982.I've lived my entire 42 years in Maryland,and the population growth around here has drastically reduced the quality of life here.I can understand your dilemma,as I've been planning to leave as soon as my stepson graduates.If I can't sell my towing business as a whole,I'll liquidate it and run.I've had enough.Within the next 2-3 years,I intend to have small shop that works on mustangs and muscle cars,etc.I'll never be completely happy until I do this,even if I make less money.I know your frustration.Do your homework,find a place that's agreeable to all involved,and do it....
 

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Do a search and read the poem "The Dash". It really make sense and we've only got one shot at this crazy world so WE gotta make it count!
 

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You've been spending some enjoyable weekends out on your land in the country, haven't you? I'm in the same boat. Every time SWMBO and I spend a weekkend on our patch of dirt in the hills, we start scheming on how we can stay there and leave the stress behind, but every time we end up coming home. In our case, I could easily sell the house, we own the land free & clear, we could build a place, and I could support the family slinging burgers at McDonalds if I had to. Why don't we? More than anything else, it's the kids. We want them to have the best chance in the world of a good life. That means being close to good schools and being able to afford to provide them with enriching experiences, like travel, various lessons and clubs, active social life, sports etc.

OK, end of ramble. Boy, your message touched a chord with me!
 
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