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Here are some actual maintenance complaints/problems, generally known as squawks, recently submitted by QANTAS Pilots to maintenance engineers. After attending to the squawks, maintenance crews are required to log the details of the action taken to solve the pilots' squawks.


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Problem - Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution - Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem - Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Solution - Autoland not installed on this aircraft.

Problem - No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
Solution - No. 2 propeller seepage normal. Nos. 1, 3 and 4 propellers lack normal seepage.

Problem - Something loose in cockpit.
Solution - Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem - Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution - Live bugs on backorder.

Problem - Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent.
Solution - Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem - Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution - Evidence removed.

Problem - DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution - Volume set to more believable level.

Problem - Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution - That's what they are there for!

Problem - IFF inoperative.
Solution - IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem - Suspected crack in windscreen.
Solution - Suspect you're right.

Problem - Number 3 engine missing.
Solution - Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem - Aircraft handles funny.
Solution - Aircraft warned to "Straighten up, Fly Right, and Be Serious."

Problem - Target radar hums.
Solution - Reprogrammed target radar with words.

Problem - Mouse in cockpit.
Solution - Cat installed.

______________________________
Pretty sure this is an Urban Legend but I don't think I have ever laughed as hard

Stan
 

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Thanks for the chuckles. I'd hate to fly an airline with that type of maintenance. BTW, Did you know that John Travolta is actually a certified pilot for Quantas Airlines?
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Amazingly I did know that he is a pilot. He piloted their Goodwill plane I think they called it

Stan
 

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Yes its all legend. The problems are actually called 'snags' too..

John Travolta is the Qantas Goodwill Ambassedor.....His private aircraft is an ex-Qantas B 707 hence the linkage....its really just a PR thing that allows him to get free time of the Qantas B747-400 simulator and thus earn his rating on that aircraft.....Ahh to be rich and famous...everything just gets cheaper or free! ;)
As for ''flying on an airline like that" I do it all the time...The Rainman, Mr Hoffman, was correct when he stated that its the only airline that has not yet parked one into a hill...... :)
 

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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! :: :: ::
 

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A freind of mine is actually an AME for WestJet and he's told me stories of similar snags reported by pilots. These could be true!
 
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