OK - my best snake stories fall into two categories:
(I have others, but these are the best)
(1) Best car snake story
(2) Best snake story
(1) Best car snake story
When I was in High School some one T-boned me in my '71 Mach One, and I wanted it fixed right, so the car sat in the yard for several weeks into early spring while I searched for a door, fender, and quarter. Keep in mind this was late winter '78 - there were not many parts available from a dealer at that time and no repro stuff. My Dad and I took the insurance settlement and bought a '67 convertible for $900 to drive while I fixed the other car (I still have it).
Anyway, I went out to the car one day and raised the hood in time to see a large snake crawl down the back of the engine into or around the firewall. It looked like a big Chicken Snake, but I could only ever see about the last couple of feet as it slithered up under the car. This cat and mouse game went on for a week or so until I got ready to dismantle the car for repair. I was also going to do some other mods and maintenence to the car while it was being repaired.
I got my cousin to come over to help me one day, and talked him into changing out the transmission fluid for me. Unbeknownst to him, I had just chased the snake off of the top of the engine before he got to the house. My cousin crawled under the car, and while I was removing the door panel, I heard this huge "clunk" under the car, immediately followed by a curse word, then a series of "bam, bam, bam" noises followed by a long string of curse words.
I proceeded to run from the car, and I observed (from a safe distance) my cousin crawl out from under the car with a 4 foot chicken in one hand, and a wrench in the other. Boy, was he hacked off! I had almost convinced him that I knew nothing about the snake until my Mom pulled up in the driveway and proclaims "I sure am glad you got that Snake, Beri has been chasing it for two weeks!"
(2) Best snake story
In the summer of 1980, in between hauling some hay and cutting tobacco, I landed a job with TVA re-marking some of their property boundary lines around Tims Ford Reservoir. This ended up being a good job for me - a friend and I would take a truck out to a remote area around the lake and locate old survey markers and stakes and clear the area around them and repaint them with blaze orange paint. We would usually cover several miles in a day, so we always packed a lunch in a backpack and when it was lunch time we would find a suitable place to sit down for a break, rather than try to get back to the truck (we were usually miles away from anything). We could also recon some prime fishing and hunting spots
One area around the lake was particularly wooly - a tornado had come through the area 7 - 8 years earlier, and the underbrush, weeds and vines were pretty bad - it really looked like Snake City. It was bad enough that my partner and I both wore Cutter Snake Boots and carried machetes every day. We figured that We were very likely to disturb Jake since no one had been through the area in several years (no foot trails or anything), and we saw several poisnous varieties (Cottonmouth, Copperhead) often.
Anyway, one day we were looking for a spot to eat, and there was not much to pick from. We finally settled on a little clearing by a small stream. The ground was completely covered with vines. I always had to have a tree to lean my back against when I sat down to eat, so I cleared some vines off the tree, stuck my machete in the ground, and sat down with my back against the tree.
I pulled out my usual lunch feast (hot sowse sandwich w/mustard, Beenie-Weenies, crackers, washed down with a Sundrop - couldn't carry sardines, because the juice stunk up the back pack when you had to carry the empty can around the rest of the day), and got ready to eat.
Just before I unwrapped my sandwich, I smelled that strange, unique smell (sort of like over-ripened cucumber, maybe???), and I realized at that moment that Jake was somewhere very close. If you have ever been close to a snake, you know the smell. I began scanning the area, looking around on the ground, then looked between my legs and I could see about half of a Copperhead coiled between my legs! Jake was in some vines on the ground, and I was sitting on the other half, and had him pinned down! My chest almost exploded, but I did not move. I am not sure that I could have anyway.
I called my partner, and he immediately knew something was wrong. He came over to look and saw Jake in between my legs, and we had to figure out how I was going to get up without getting bitten - it really didn't look too good for the home team, and it was a couple of miles back to the truck.
I grabbed a limb on the tree up above me, and got ready to jump up while Jim had his machete ready to hack up the snake. He was also nervous, and I was really hoping he didn't also cut the family jewels in an attempt to kill the snake. The instant I jumped up, he started hacking the snake up, and I was unscathed by either the snake or the machete.
I was unable to eat my lunch, and we didn't get a whole lot of work done that afternoon, mainly for talking about the snake. Every now and then I will still see an old friend who asks - "Hey - have you been sittin' on any snakes lately?"