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Anyone care to add to the list?


DRILL PRESS:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.




WIRE WHEEL:
Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh*t!'

SKIL SAW:
A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.



PLIERS:
Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.



BELT SANDER:
An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.



HACKSAW:
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.



VISE-GRIPS:
Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.



OXYACETYLENE TORCH:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.




TABLE OR RADIAL SAW:
A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall and/or body part integrity.



HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK:
Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.



BAND SAW:
A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.



TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST:
A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.



PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER:
Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.



STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER:
A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.



PRY BAR (AKA “JIFFY BAR”):
A tool used to quickly (in a jiffy) crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50-cent part.



HOSE & PVC CUTTER:
A tool used to make hoses and PVC parts too short.



HAMMER:
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.



UTILITY/BOX CUTTER KNIFE:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.



THE Son of a Bitch TOOL:
Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'Son of a Bitch' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
 

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If that was a test, I got 100% right
 

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1.) 1/2" electric drill w/ 5/8" or larger bit - Implement to turn you into a superhero (Plasti-girl) as your arms get twisted like pipe cleaners.
2.) Easy out - Turns into Beotch to Get Out once broken off in the hole.
 

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Too funny, but reading the instructions and primarily the safety section of the offending aforementioned devices will shorten that list by quite a bit.
Safety first my friends, always wear safety glasses.
 

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I've stabbed my self in the eye more than once putting on safety glasses
The wire wheel does a pretty good job on eyes too.
Tie back the guard and the skill saw does a good job on slicing thighs. ( Had a neighbor do that once. his 8 year old was able to dial 911)
 

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Linesman pliers. Used to cut hot wires, tripping the circuit breaker leaving you blinded from the arc only to see or not see anything because the lights are now out. You pinched your hand in the jaws at the same time leaving a blood blister the size of your thumb in your pocket palm. Finally when you stumble in the dark finding the tripped circuit breaker after you touched the hot side of another breaker. Now with the lights on, your palm throbbing from the blood blister you discover the short circuit blew out a chunk of the cutting surface of the jaws of your brand new $42 pliers making them totally useless.

745777
 

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Test light- perfect tool for confusing you further when testing a circuit that doesn't show power when it should, as well as power on 2 circuits at the same time. It also doubles duty as a blood type sampler by piercing your fingers at the same spot most commonly used for feeling anything!
745778
 

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Universal socket (Swivel socket). This magical unit can make a socket disappear in the blink of an eye. Sometimes you'll even swear you could feel across your hands, arms, or forehead it as it vanishes before your eyes!
Image result for swivel socket
 

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Multi-function tool. The tool that has 'multiple functionalities' yet usually ends up useless as the individual tools are made of a softer metal that twists off or distorts upon usage. The blades typically appear sharp, yet cannot cut butter, the cutters aren't sharp enough to cut spaghetti, and the pliers have troubles adhering to objects, yet never fail to pinch the softest parts of your knuckles with ease. This tool is often found in the glovebox, junk drawer, or white elephant gift bag.
Image result for multifunction tool
 

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Multi-function tool...
Try a Leatherman Super Tool instead !

Extension cord
Also known as a "drop cord"
An electrically charged bowl of spaghetti that somehow gets hung on everything between point A and point B, gets unplugged a half dozen times before and during a job with an electrically powered tool, is bound to have some grease or paint or daub of silicone on it that will find it way onto your painted project, carpet, upholstery and clothing, has more kinks than a burnt pube and is ALWAYS too short.
cable-power-cords-in-workplace.jpg
 

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Extension cord, multiple use device that is great for checking the sharpness and cutting capabilities of power tools, while at the same time testing circuit breaker function. Secondary function is that later it provides something to hone your wiring repair skills on while expanding your beverage sampling range.
745806

745807

745808

745810
 
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